02.27.09
Posted in Single Parents at 5:03 am by Administrator
How many arguments have we had and relations threatened because we had to show we were right? How many times was there a fracture in our relationships with our kids and other people close to us because we had to be right? And through this all, have you ever looked back after all is said and done and said, “That was a good point they made?” How about, “I wonder if she/he could be correct?” “Their point seems to make more sense than mine?” Yet here we are still arguing and defending our point!
So, how many of you find yourself continuing to argue even after you begin to have doubt about your point being right? How about once we realize we are wrong? Do you still continue to argue because you don’t want to be wrong or do you storm away so you are not shown to be wrong? Why do we do this?
Why do we need to be right? How much more peaceful and how much better would our relationships be if we went on thinking that there does not have to be a right or wrong but that we should both be heard and then look for what makes the most sense to ME afterwords! Why do I have to prove myself right to someone else as long as I got my point across? How much better would it be if we got some great information from both sides of the discussion?
Here is another way to look at it. In Stephen Covey’s book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” he shows a picture of a woman and asks, “What do you see?” A college professor asked the same question to his students. He put the picture on a screen and asked them to say what they saw. Then he let them argue over who was right and who was wrong. You see, half the class saw an older lady and the other half saw a young lady. They argued their point for some time because both groups of students felt they were right, therefore the other people must be wrong. However, the facts showed that they where BOTH right.
But how could that be? If someone is right, doesn’t that automatically make the other wrong? Well, let’s see what the college professor did. He then split out the picture to show both pictures to the students – the young lady and the older lady. Once he did this, all the students could see both pictures in the same frame. You see said the professor – you can both be right. It just depends on how you look at it.
What happens is each of us draws on our experiences and we use these experiences that we have stored to filter the way we see and think. That is one of the things that make us different, no two people have the exact experiences and even if they do have similar experiences they can come away with a different outlook. An example was shown by a graduate student at UCLA who was researching how people from the same type of situations come away with different takes on the experience based on these filters we create and our programming that began when we where young children.
The student interviewed twins who came from an abusive family. She first went to the state penitentiary and spoke with the first sister. The student asked, “What led you to live the type of life that would have you end up in prison?” Her answer was simple, “What do you expect my father beat me.”
Then she spoke to the other sister who was working at a charity that helped abused children and asked the same question. What do you think her answer was? The same exact answer – “What do you expect, my father beat me.”
So the next time you are in a situation where you are about to disagree with someone or get into an argument, maybe, just maybe, you can take a better approach. Maybe you can have a discussion and in the back of your mind remember there are two perspectives and both can be correct. Maybe you can even learn something that previously you would have been closed to when you where your old arguing just to be right self.
Try it and let me know what happens for you.
With Love, Peace and Power,
Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. – “Helping Reconnect Families”
www.SingleParentPower.com
www.SingleParentPower.com/Blog
www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power
rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
516-355-1552
“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein
Permalink
12.25.08
Posted in Single Parents at 3:56 am by Administrator
Wish you and your family a very Happy and Enjoyable Holiday Season! This is a great time of year to reflect on all the good things that has made us feel good, has put a smile on our face and have been a blessing to you and the people you care for! Now is a great time to be thankful for all the gifts given us through the past year and to start creating what we will like to come to be in 2009!
So often we spend so much time looking at what “bad” things have happened over the past year and sometimes even beyond and forget or give much less attention to the good things that have touched our lives. Friends who where there when they where needed the most, the family members who put that extra touch on a holiday or birthday, your son or daughter who makes you feel extra special. There are so many good things that happen to us and yet how many of us keep reliving the bad things and loss sight of the good?
So please take this time to remember the small and large events that have had a positive impact on your life this year and take the time to thank the people who are important in your life and have made a difference to you.
We at Single Parent Power wish you all a fantastic, fun and safe holiday with the people who care about you and who make a difference in your life! May your life be blessed with family and friends and may the New Year bring health, happiness and abundance!
As is our custom I will close with some great holiday quotes:
“We have focused on the miracle-thing and I think we often overlook the message of Hanukkah. To me, the core of the holiday is the cleaning of the temple…. The accomplishment was in restoring the temple to the purpose for which it was built. Now think of the temple as a symbol. Perhaps it represents my life. The world has tried to use me for its own (perhaps good, but none-the-less extrinsic) purposes. But now I can rededicate myself to my own original purpose.” ~Ralph Levy
“The darkness of the whole world cannot swallow the glowing of a candle.” ~Robert Altinger
“Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.” ~Chinese Proverb
“Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.” ~Richard Lewis
“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled ’till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.” ~Dr. Seuss
“Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.”
Oren Arnold
“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.” ~Author unknown, attributed to a 7-year-old named Bobby
Enjoy family, friends and all that you do have in your life today – in this moment!
With Love, Peace and Power,
Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. – “Helping Reconnect Families”
www.SingleParentPower.com
www.SingleParentPower.com/Blog
www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power
rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
516-355-1552
“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein
Permalink
12.03.08
Posted in Single Parents at 10:06 pm by Administrator
UPCOMING SHOWS:
“The 7 Vital Steps to Being A Great Step Parent!!”
June 17,2009 at 9:00 PM EST (8 PM CST, 6 PM PST)
Single Parent Power is proud to have Step Mom Coach Claudette Chenevert as our expert guest this week for 60 minutes. Find out what you need to discuss before getting married? How do you integrate the children into the new dynamic? What unique challenges do you need to think about for the wedding? What types of challenges should you anticipate after the wedding and how can you minimize them? What are the ways to eliminate these problems before they happen? Come join us for this very important show and tell everyone who can benefit from this very relevant knowledge! See you on Wednesday!
Click on this link to hear and participate in the show: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power/2009/06/18/The-7-Vital-Steps-to-Being-A-Great-Step-Parent
Please call in a few minutes early so you do not miss any of this important information at 347-237-5135. You can also join into our lively Chat Room at www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power. If we have not had the privilege of having you participate in our show before, please take 2 minutes to register before the call at www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power so that you can participate in the Chat.
We thank you for joining us and have a great day! We look forward to your listening to the show!
Please feel free to pass this information onto any other Single Parents or Parents that can benefit from this show!!
ARCHIVED SHOWS:
“Disconnected Kids!”
April 22,2009 at 9:00 PM EST (6 PM PST)
If your kids are challenged with ADD, ADHD, Turrets Syndrome, Dyslexia, Autism, Asperger’s, Learning Disbaility or Processing Disorder then you need to listen to this show!! If you would like to see your kids More Focused, Improve their Academic Performance and Decrease their Negative Behavior then you need to hear what is on this show!! Come join us with expert Robert Melillo, author of “Disconnected Kids” to learn how to treat these illnesses WITHOUT resorting to drugs. Mr. Melillo has a 97% success rate with the patients he has treated!!
Click on this link to hear or download the show: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power/2009/04/23/Disconnected-Kids
“Elder Parent and You Estate Planning” – The Sandwich Generation
Wednesday, March 25, 2009 at 5:30 PM EST (2:30 PM PST) to 6:30 PM EST (3:30 PM PST)
Tune in to learn how to plan your estate as a Single Parent and your aging parents estate so everything is taking care of and that the transitions are smooth. Learn what the pitfalls are and how to avoid them! Learn about overcoming common obstacles in estate planning!
Join us and our Estate Planning expert Deborah S. Barcham, Esq. as we unravel the challenges of estate planning and reveal why it is not only for the very wealthy! Come set your mind at ease for both you and your aging parents. Walk away with tools, direction and understanding!
Click on this link to hear or download the show: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power/2009/03/25/Elder-Parent-Estate-Planning-The-Sandwich-Generation
“The Single Parent & your mortgage options”
Wednesday, April 8, 2009 at 5:30 PM EST (2:30 PM PST) to 6:30 PM EST (3:30 PM PST)
Tune in to learn what you are liable for and your options in this ever changing market. Learn the repercussions of your divorce degree BEFORE you sign it! Learn all the information you MUST have before you sign those papers and what your options are if you did! Don’t miss this very important show!
Click on this link to hear or download the show: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power/2009/04/08/What-divorce-attorneys-dont-know-you-need-to-know
“Taking Care of Your Parents” – The Sandwich Generation
Wednesday, March 11, 2009 at 5:30 PM EST (2:30 PM PST)
Join us with Family Care Giver and Elder Care Expert Jennifer Benjamin from Family First Home Companions in this our 2nd Sandwich Generation Mini Series show! Family First Home Companion’s mission is to help seniors stay independent at home and deliver families peace of mind. Learn from this expert what every care giver must know about the options available for you and your elder parents. Learn the techniques to make your life easier and your parent’s life more fulfilling! Learn how your parents can keep their independence while still making sure they are empowered and safe!
Click on this link to listen or download this show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power/2009/03/11/Elder-Care
“I Can Move My Parents Without Stress!!” – The Sandwich Generation
February 18, 2009 at 5:30 PM EST (2:30 PM PST)
Are you in the Sandwich Generation? Taking care of your kids and your parent(s)? Come join us for the 1st in our sandwich generation mini-series. Learn about preparing and moving your parent(s) to another home – a new apartment, an assisted living or a nursing home. Our guests from Transitions USA will give you all the information to stop this from being a nightmare and help in creating a smooth transition for everyone. Let’s learn together how to remove the stress and worry of The Move!
Click on this link to listen or download this show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/single-parent-power/2009/02/18/i-can-move-my-parents-without-stress-the-sandwich-generation
“I’m From Earth and My Kids Are From Planet X!!!
The Art of Talking With Your Kids!!”
December 4, 2008
Come join us with our special guest Award Winning author Anna Marie Squailia. We will be discussing how to actually communicate with our kids using the same language! We will discuss the Dos and Don’ts, as well as specific tips you can start using today to create that elusive, deeper bond and connection with your kids!
Click on this link to hear or download the show: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/single-parent-power/2008/12/04/parents-are-from-earth-and-kids-from-planet-x
“Energizing Your Home! Learn about Feng Shui!”
November 20, 2008
Come join us and learn how to improve your health, create abundance and transform your life. You will shift the energy of yourself, your home, workspace and your business that will lead to creating harmony in all areas of your life. The benefits of Feng Shui run deep… so if you wish to find a new relationship or improve the one you have, create new opportunities for your career or business, increase your wealth, bring clarity to your life, or reduce chaos and clutter that makes you feel out of sorts, it’s time to call in the Feng Shui expert! You will begin to feel nourished, joyful, calm, clear, creative, productive and energized. It takes a master Feng Shui expert to really help you indentify areas within your home and workplace that may be affecting the state of your life in body, mind and spirit. Karen is expertly trained as a certified Feng Shui master in the ancient tradition of BTB Feng Shui® under the guidance of Grandmaster Professor Lin Yun and his designated teachers: Dr. Edgar Sung, Barry Gordon, Steven Post and Rosalie Prinzivalli. Karen serves on the Board of The International Feng Shui Guild as Marketing Director and member of the Green Living & Design Committee. Karen also holds Certifications in Healing Touch – First and Second Degree, Rex Hospital, Raleigh, NC, Oki-Do & Shinkiko from the International Integrated Living Yoga Institute, Tai Ch’i from Long Island School of Tai Ch’i Ch’uan.
Click on this link to hear or download the show: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/single-parent-power/2008/11/20/tbd
“7 Top Single Parent Family Secrets to Creating an Amazing Fun and Enjoyable Home for the Holidays!!”
November 6, 2008
Come join us on this exciting Single Parent Power show with our very special guest – the Nationally renown Home Specialist Natalie Weinstein. We will be revealing the “7 Top Single Parent Family Secrets to Creating an Amazing Fun and Enjoyable Home for the Holidays!!” So let’s get ready for the upcoming holiday season and come join us to learn how to create a very special and unique holiday for your family! We will discuss the specific challenges that Single Parent families face and share solutions to them. There will be something for everyone and a Q & A period to ask your specific questions! This will kick off of our home and family related series. We look forward to your participation and know you will get a lot out of this show! We look forward to seeing you there!!
Click on this link to hear or download the show: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/single-parent-power/2008/11/06/tbd
“How to Support Your Kids with Their Extracurricular Activies”
October 23, 2008
Come join us to discuss – what is positive parenting in sports, school activities and the other activities? How does it influence our kids in this time when we constantly hear and see the opposite? Come learn what these different ways are so we can make a big difference in how we support our kids?
Click on this link to hear or download the show: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power/2008/10/23/How-to-Support-Your-Kids-with-Their-Extracurricular-Activies
“The Divorce Maze – How To Survive and Thrive!”
October 9, 2008
Do you have any challenges going through your divorce or as a result? Then let’s discuss the challenges that divorce brings and ways to conquer them now!
Click on this link to hear or download the show: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power/2008/10/23/How-to-Support-Your-Kids-with-Their-Extracurricular-Activies
“Is Your Teen At Risk?: Teen Suicide Prevention Show” – Live!! from Long Beach, CA – Life’s Golden Ticket/Impact Event!
September 25, 2008
Welcome to out LIVE show from Life’s Golden Ticket and The Impact combined event. Join us with John Gray (Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus), Marianne Williamson (Oprah’s Spiritual Guru), Bill Harris (The Secret),Brendon Burchard (Life’ Golden Ticket), and Ken McArthur (the Impact Factor). We are extremely excited to be a part of this event!! We (A team of 18 selected individuals on the Impact Action Team) will be helping Deremiah CPE to create an impact on prevention of Teen Suicide! This, unfortunately, is a lot more prevalent among teens from Single Parent households! So listen in to our Single Parent Power show to learn more about it. You can also go to our web site at www.SingleParentPower.com and see all the great information, comment on our blog and explore.
Click on this link to hear or download this show: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power/2008/09/25/Live-from-Long-Beach-CA-Lifes-Golden-TicketImpact-Event
“Who The Heck Are We?”
September 11, 2008
This is our introductory show to let you know all about Single Parent Power, who Ron Dilbert is and who my co-host Fara Biamonte is! We will discuss how we will help you through the challenges of divorce and the ways to reconnect with your kids. We will empower you and your family to reach for new and exciting heights!! So come join us as we begin this journey together as one family, one community!!
Click on this link to hear or download the show: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/single-parent-power/2008/09/11/who-the-heck-are-we
Permalink
11.26.08
Posted in Single Parents at 5:30 pm by Administrator
Now is the time of year when we all think of all the turkey we will be eating and the great desserts we will be finishing at our feasts. We make decisions on who will be hosting the celebration this year (if you are lucky enough to have family and friends to share with, the money to have a feast and the job to feel good about spending that money). What about the families who have none of these? What about the struggling families? If they do not have a big feast but celebrate what they do have and the fact they are together – are they any less thankful? Or maybe even more? Something to think about.
This Thanksgiving gives us a reminder and an opportunity to step back and take inventory. We in our society are so ready and eager to look at what we don’t have, what other people have or what we “should” have but don’t. In this economy with so many people in trouble financially, losing their homes and their life savings – it is important to look at the people in our lives that make a difference!
We become jealous of people who have more then us, who have the “toys” we want or who have what is in vogue this year. Who’s doing what and who is not? How can we possibly be happy if we are always looking outward from our selves to feel fulfilled?
Thanksgiving is a reminder to each and every one of us – time to take account of what we do have! What do we really have in our lives to be grateful for? What are we taking for granted and who? When is the last time you said thank you to someone who has made or does make a difference in your life? When is the last time you looked at what you do have and was thankful that you have it in your life or that person in your life?
I think all we really need to do is watch the news and see the starving children who have no food and are so thin you can see their ribs, as well as the rest of their bones! How about the pictures of people after 9-11 who lost loved ones – spouses and parents! How lucky are we to still have our family and friends in our lives! What are material things when we let them become the thing that defines who and what we are?
How often have you said to yourself if I only had this I would be happy? When this happens I will feel better? How long have you been waiting to be happy and feel better? When we are happy where we are now then anything else we receive later is an added blessing. When we live for things we don’t possess then we are creating our feelings and thoughts based on what is out of our control.
I am thankful for so many things in my life – my son, my family, my fiancé, what I do and the way I help Single Parent Families and so much more! What are you thankful for in your life? – right now!
We at Single Parent Power wish you and the people who mean so much to you a happy and enjoyable Thanksgiving!
And let’s not forget the usual meaningful holiday quotes!
“Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man it comes as frequently as the heart of gratitude will allow.” ~Edward Sandford Martin
He who thanks but with the lips
Thanks but in part;
The full, the true Thanksgiving
Comes from the heart.
~J.A. Shedd
“Thanksgiving is possible only for those who take time to remember; no one can give thanks who has a short memory.” ~Author Unknown
“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it” ~William Arthur Ward
“G-d gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say ‘thank you?”’” ~William A. Ward
“Some people complain because G-d put thorns on roses,
while others praise Him for putting roses among thorns.”
Anonymous
“We can always find something to be thankful for, and there may be reasons why we ought to be thankful for even those dispensations which appear dark and frowning.” ~Albert Barnes
“Who does not thank for little will not thank for much.” –Estonian Proverb
“You say, ‘If I had a little more, I should be very satisfied.’ You make a mistake. If you are not content with what you have, you would not be satisfied if it were doubled.” –Charles Haddon Spurgeon
And lastly … “An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.” ~Irv Kupcinet
With Love, Peace and Power,
Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. – “Helping Reconnect Families”
www.SingleParentPower.com
www.SingleParentPower.com/Blog
rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
516-355-1552
“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein
Permalink
10.16.08
Posted in Single Parents at 4:57 pm by Administrator
- Making Strides Against Breast Cancer – 2008-2009
- WALK FM Breast Cancer Fundraiser at http://www.walkradio.com/pages/Hope/
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Permalink
09.19.08
Posted in Single Parents at 3:13 am by Administrator
Sooooo what have we learned from these last few posts? Could it be that we are being bullied into the court rooms and losing more then we could possibly gain? Could it be that after we are finished, that neither party is satisfied and a rift is created between the two ex partners. Could it be that the lawyers make a lot of money from this process? The answers to these questions more times then not is a resounding YES!!
As we have seen – there are a tremendous amount of biases in the court system and lawyers who can twist and manipulate the truth so it becomes unrecognizable. So what happened to the courts that create situations where there is little or no justice and how can we fix it? Why don’t the judges and lawyers get fully trained on how divorce cases are very different then criminal cases?
We all saw how the courts handled the different scenarios I have written about. What I shared is such a small percentage of the cases but representative of the results. So what do we do if the lawyers and courts do not take care of us or our children? Who protects our kids then? Who protects our rights?
So what can we do? First there are alternatives to getting divorced in court – you can either use a recommended quality mediator (mediates between both partners) or you can go through a Collaborative Divorce process (involves many more people, including lawyers) outside of court.
We will discuss these in more detail in another blog and also on our Blog Talk Radio Show (www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power). The three basic choices are Mediation, Collaborative Divorce and finally the confrontational atmosphere of the court system. These choices requires time to explain so we can discuss and compare them in detail.
Secondly, know your rights. Be willing to do research on the law and your options; and be willing to be in control of any proceedings. I hear all the time that the lawyer is doing this or that and that I am intimidated by him or her. This is your life and your kids, not the lawyers! You need to get advice but you make the decisions.
If you get along with your ex, why shouldn’t you want to talk to work things out? If the documents that are drawn up by the lawyer are not accurate or do not say what you want it to say, then have the lawyer change it! My lawyer used to say who is the lawyer here and I would reply, who is the one who signs and lives with what is written on the papers? After all is said and done, the lawyer walks away and you, your kids and your ex have to live with the outcome. So listen to your attorney or mediator AND also take an active role in the process.
Thirdly, get referrals for attorneys and mediators. You do not want to play the game of hit or miss with your lives. Check them out and see how they handle divorces, how long they usually take to settle a divorce, what their references say, and notice how you connect and feel with them. Interview them, just like any one else looking for a job.
Fourthly, try to think of all the possible scenarios and address them in your paperwork. Whenever you are making decisions, be rational and think of what is best for your kids. Too often our emotions take over and we either fall apart or we are more interested in getting even or for pay back rather then being equitable and doing what is right by your kids.
If we as parents learn to communicate with each other, we can work things out with out it costing the college fund or camp fund or whatever fund that gets thrown away during a drawn out divorce. I know of people who spent over $100K to end up with almost the exact agreement they had talked about before the lawyers got involved.
For the events that happen after the divorce is completed – that is when all that extra thought that went into the final agreement pays off. This can give you the leverage to accomplish what needs to be done without all the drama that can normally come about.
Now we can not always think of everything, but we can think of a lot more then is normally put in the final agreement regarding your divorce, custody and visitation. In this way there is little left to interpretation and expectations and the parents have an opportunity to work together for the better good of your children. Let’s start coming together to make change with the way the system is run. Slowly things are beginning to happen – like some states requiring mediation before divorce proceedings begin in the courts.
If you are interested in making a difference or if you have a story to share, please email me at rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com. I look forward to hearing from you! If you want me to use your name, please just let me know.
Until next time – continue to create the parent you want to be and continue to be the best parent you can be in that moment!
With Love, Peace and Power,
Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. – “Helping Reconnect Single Parent Families”
www.SingleParentPower.com
www.SingleParentPower.com/Blog
www.blogtalkradio.com/Single-Parent-Power
rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
516-355-1552
“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein
Permalink
08.28.08
Posted in Single Parents at 9:07 pm by Administrator
In our last few blogs you got to hear some of my horror stories, as well as another Dad that I coach. Now that you have had the pleasure of hearing what has happened to some of the Dad’s I believe it is time to give the Moms a chance. After all, this amazing tales are not unique to just Dads! So this week you can hear some of these remarkable stories. There will still be no names so the innocent are always protected.
These stories have definitely been raising eye brows and it boggles my mind that other Single Parents have gone through the same or similar “trials” – excuse the pun. Unfortunately these stories happen all to often. So let’s share two more of a Moms woes.
The first “horror” story of this blog, takes place in a state we like to call California, because everyone else calls it that. A friend of mine is currently battling the court system to get her children back. You see, her ex, who by the way has been found to be abusive by the same court system, got mad at her and filed an abuse charge. Child Welfare swooped in and took the kids to protect them.
So what do they do – of course, they give them to the Dad! Now that makes perfect sense (sarcasm there!). When she went to talk with the person in charge she was told they can’t talk to her because she is the “abusive Mom”. So unverified charges keep the parent and children separated until they “get around” to investigating it.
Now I do not have a problem in protecting our children BUT do we do it by putting them in harms way? Do we do it by taking weeks or months, sometimes years to make a finding?
I remember a case in Florida where these two children were playing on the playground and fell. The parents took them to the doctor who treated them and the next day they went to school. You probably can guess where this is going!!
The school noticed the bruises and reported it to Child Welfare. They came charging in and took the children from their parents. The parents went to their doctor and he wrote a note that this was not abuse but the children had fallen while playing.
It only took over a YEAR to get their children back. During this time they where allowed one visit a week with their children … supervised and for only one hour! Now how assenine is our system? I say “our” system because we do not speak out enough!! We as Single Parents have a huge voice to be reckoned with, when united!
Watch in the near future for an announcement of something VERY BIG we are doing to address this and other Single Parent issues!!
The next tale is about a young lady who tried to do the right thing and got burned by the judicial system in all it’s glory! She had custody of her son and when she lost her job and was having a hard time making ends meet, she approached her ex, who lived near by.
She asked if she could let their son live with him while she got back on her feet. Now that does sound like a level headed decision – one where the child comes first.
After getting a new job and then a new apartment she asked for her son back and the answer was NO!
So what do most people do – immediately rush to court to have a neutral 3rd party make a “fair” decision. Not only did the court side with the father but based the decision on faulty information. You see the witnesses that she had that came up to testify where accused of all types of unsubstantiated things. The ex’s lawyer made up stories and blatantly lied. Now, of course the court would definitely check out the two sides of the story to see who was telling the truth and who was lying – right?
Nah, why bother. After all – it is just a few lives. The court kept custody with the Father because they said the Mother had no family nearby. She only had almost her entire family within 20 miles of her.
Then it gets even better – for the Dad! The Mom runs out of money and can no longer fight AND the judge allows the Father to move with the child over 1,000 miles away! So much for the value of keeping families together for the best interest of the child.
In our next blog I will wrap all this up into a neat little package.
Until then, remember you are the best parent you can be in that moment!!
With Love, Peace and Power,
Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. – “Helping reconnect Single Parent Families”
www.SingleParentPower.com
www.SingleParentPower.com/Blog
rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
516-355-1552
“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein
Permalink
08.15.08
Posted in Single Parents at 3:36 am by Administrator
So here we go again – Part II!
In our last blog you got to hear some of my horror stories so this week you can hear some of the unbelievable stories of people I have coached. There will be no names so the innocent are always protected.
These stories boggle the mind but are never the less very true and definitely will make you scratch your head; unless of course you have been through the courts yourself and then you may say – no surprise there!
The first “horror” story, our blog of the day, takes place in a state far, far away – or so it seems. Any way, this is a story about a dad and his kids who are under 18 years of age. His ex has custody of the kids and is engaged to be married.
One day her fiance has a bit too much to drink, gets upset and decides to break the door down with the kids standing right there. Sounds like a real winner all ready, but this is just the beginning.
The ex leaves with the kids and my friend goes and picks the kids up and removes them from harms way. Not soon after he receives a call that her fiance apologized, all is grand, she is going back with him and she wants the kids back. Huh!? What would you do?
Well he called his lawyer and Child Welfare. What he was told by Child Welfare was that they would consider opening a case to decide whether to begin an investigation and his lawyer said by law he has to return the kids or he could be arrested! Now you would think that common sense would come in to play some where in here, however we must remember this is the legal system and we should not expect too much.
NOW there is definitely a decision to be made. And by the way, who is protecting our kids? But before the decision is made my friend gets another call that her fiance was acting up and that he should keep the kids so they are safe.
On top of all that is going on, school is beginning. My friend goes to register his kids but of course he needs the signature of the custodial parent. I think you may guess where this is going.
My friend leaves several text and voice messages about the urgency and receives no response. Now school has started and the lawyer says his hands are tied and my friend needs to get that signature. The school won’t budge – policy. They have to protect themselves.
My friend finally gets in touch with his ex, since she had not been returning repeated messages and she is now waffling whether she wants to sign the papers or not. My friend already has done all the running around and has all the other paperwork filled out with the school so once these forms are signed and notarized, his kids are good to go.
Don’t you know that another 1 1/2 weeks went by until the papers where ready and he had to drive almost 3 hours round trip so that his kids only missed that week and a half from school. The kids start tomorrow and have some catching up to do in a new school with all new people.
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08.14.08
Posted in Single Parents at 7:52 pm by Administrator
Single Parent Power, Inc.
“Empowering Single Parent Families!”
www.SingleParentPower.com
Hewlett, New York 11557
Wed., August 13, 2008
For Immediate Release
For Further Details Contact: Ronald Dilbert
Phone: (516) 355-1552
E-mail: rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
LOCAL SINGLE DAD HELPING OVER
100,000 SINGLE PARENTS AND THEIR KIDS !!
Single Dad from Hewlett one of only 18 people selected nationwide to fulfill his dream!
Hewlett, New York – Ron Dilbert, a local Single Dad from Hewlett, has become one of only 18 people selected nationwide to work to fulfill a dream. Mr. Dilbert has been selected to work with Author, Speaker, Impact Guru and Businessman Ken McArthur and his team of experts.
The 18 selected will meet with Ken McArthur and Mr. McArthur’s Power Team in Philadelphia this August 22nd to the 24th. There they will work together to build Mr. Dilbert’s Single Parent Power, along with the other 17 businesses so they can help many more people in need. Mr. Dilbert will be continuing his quest to help over 100,000 single parents and their children by December 1, 2010. By being selected to participate, he brings the power of the Impact Guru, Ken McArthur, and his entire team to help make this dream a reality!
On September 26th to the 28th, this team of 18 along with Ken McArthur team will move the show under the Big Top in LA! There they will work together to empower a new startup business to become successful in their endeavor to help people. At the end of this event, this amazing team will have created 19 service-oriented businesses designed to help hundreds of thousands of people worldwide!
Mr. Dilbert has been a single parent for over 19 years, having raised his son John from the age of one. They have been through many challenges by themselves, since no organizations existed to help single custodial dads.
Mr. Dilbert started Single Parent Power in October 1996 after being let go from his job. This was the beginning of Mr. Dilbert’s mission to help single parents and their children so they would be better prepared with the proper tools and knowledge to deal with the challenges of Single Parenting, and to build a closer, more connected and more empowered family.
Now Mr. Dilbert has been selected as one of an elite 18 person power team gearing up to make major changes.
To learn more about Ron Dilbert and Single Parent Power, please visit their website at http://www.SingleParentPower.com.
For questions and additional details, contact Ronald Dilbert at Single Parent Power, Inc. at (516) 355-1552 or by e-mail at rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com.
###
MEDIA RELEASE!
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08.07.08
Posted in Single Parents at 10:20 am by Administrator
As I write this I do not believe I will make too many people in the legal profession happy. Oh, well.
A few recent events have triggered my memory and I have been remembering my experiences with the court system in New York, or should I say the nightmares.
I remember how naive I was thinking that the court would be fair and impartial. I had this false sense of hope that they would look after, if nothing else, the health and welfare of my son. Boy was I in for a rude awakening!!
I remember returning on a yearly basis to court for the smallest of reasons on my ex’s side. She moved to another apartment in the same building, she moved a block away, etc. While these endeavors cost me a fortune, she was represented by legal aide.
I remember my bringing up the issue of smoking based on the court report because my son was asthmatic. The court investigator went to visit my ex and found her with her highly asthmatic daughter on her lap with both my ex and her boyfriend smoking. The report said that the ash trays where overflowing with cigarette butts. The judge told me when I brought this up that “she is the Mother and she knows what is best for her son!”
Then we began the 2nd round in court. The appointed “neutral” law guardian was sitting with my ex telling her how she should go about getting custody of my son. Then when the law guardian visited the house she spent no more then 30 seconds talking with my son and left.
When we went to court the law guardian said that my son was not in a good environment and did not have support at my place and that his Mother should get custody. The law guardian said that John had no one but me and my ex had her family. That was weird since my parents watched John when I was away and my brother and sister and their family lived in the same town!
The scariest part for me was the total disregard for my son’s safety. The court performed a background check on my ex’s boyfriend and found nothing. I had a friend do the same check and she found out that her boyfriend had an order of protection barring him from seeing his own kids from a previous marriage. The judge said that this was irrelevant because it was older and put no restrictions on the visit.
When I appealed the decision, the appellate court judge said that the lower court did not send the needed documents and since it was a temporary order they would let the lower court decision stand. The judge said that if I refused to let John go upstate with his Mom and her boyfriend I would be in contempt of court!
Who is watching over our kids!?
Stay tuned for the next blog! This was just some of my experiences.
I would like to hear of some of the experiences you have had. Please use the comment box below.
Until next time! Remember you are the best parent you can be in that moment!
With Love, Peace and Power,
Ron Dilbert
Single Parent Power, Inc. – “Helping Single Parent Families”
www.SingleParentPower.com
www.SingleParentPower.com/Blog
rdilbert@SingleParentPower.com
516-355-1552
“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein
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